This is a different kind of post. It's not uplifting or inspiring (or maybe it will be). I'm just "keepin' it real" (meaning being honest) and sharing what I'm feeling. The words to this post have been running through my head all morning, so here goes.
I'm disappointed - not in my kids or my husband, but in myself. I consider myself an upbeat, positive person. Well, not so the past few days. Why you may ask? Quite simply, I took my eyes off the prize. No, not the new car we were looking at buying, but Jesus!!! I have been consumed (for lack of a better word) with looking at cars. I have wasted hours on the computer checking out gas mileage and price options. I have wasted hours sitting in car dealerships listening to the "truth" as it has been told to me by dealers. (Notice "truth" in quotes, I wish just ONE dealer would give the truth). I chose not to attend a funeral visitation and missed church Wednesday night all because my focus was somewhere else. God has used this to show me how easily my focus can be diverted. How no matter how unconcerned I am about material things, they can affect me. I didn't think my personality could change so fast. I have seen that the timing is not right now for us to buy a car. If it were - this experience wouldn't be so hard. God opens the doors that need to be opened and He closes the doors that need to be closed. So even though the phone is ringing off the hook (2 dealers have already called this morning; one has called twice), I will patiently wait on the Lord. Some of you may think that sounds silly, but the Word of God tells us "for in Him we live and move and have our being". I will not move until He moves me. I will not try to go through a door that He has closed. I will not try to open it in my own strength. I am also not going to wallow in self pity - YUK! I will embrace the lesson I have learned and move forward. As David List (church friend that has moved to Florida) said Sunday at church, "You can't drive forward looking in the rear view mirror."
Who knows in driving my car that doesn't have air conditioning I might lose that 15 lbs. I want to lose.
Be blessed!!!
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9 years ago
I understand this exactly, I too have been consumed with cars lately, to the point that when I drive down the street I think about the MPG of every car I see, and I have also come to the place that I am not going to worry about some car anymore, God is bigger than that. Another example of how "things" bind us, and He gives freedom.
ReplyDelete-Cameron
Gotta love that on-time car metaphor!! In His time!
ReplyDeleteWhat a blessing He is! He gives us the desires of our hearts...you are highly favored...shall I go on. We forget that He is listening to our every desire and works it together for our good. We all work in the flesh at times. He knows that so He waits for us to give it over to Him. He is our rear guard and loves us at all times!
ReplyDeleteLove you,
Betty